Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
