I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
