I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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