you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize