I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
