I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
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ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
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who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize