i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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