I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
not ubering you a puppy
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize