Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Blood and glitter go together right?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
