im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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