sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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