Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
