My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
