He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
