john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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