Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you made out with another girl for some wings
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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