Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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