i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
