last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
