My first STD was from a foam party
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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