Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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