I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
40s are totally the cure
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
