4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
