I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
