Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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