Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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