No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
