apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize