I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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