i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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