After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
