I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
