Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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