Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
