i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
