ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
North Korea, Best Korea!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
