do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
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No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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