From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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