she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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