Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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