woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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