We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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