two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
