I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
