I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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