Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
