Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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