Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
