I need to stop coming to work sober
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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