The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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