toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
