He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
