man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
