the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
