I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
