Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
